The Ology of Longing.

Longing: what is it?  How does one describe it?  Presumably, everyone feels longing eventually, and some more frequently than others.  Does the frequency of the feeling of longing determine its potency per instance?

I do not feel comfortable defining longing authoritatively, nor do I feel comfortable with answering all of those questions.  Surely, I do not know the correct answer, and I believe that it is a subjective answer for each individual, anyhow.

To me, longing is best described as yearning for that which you do not possess.  I feel that longing is a very compelling and poweful feeling, and it has driven people to go beyond their comfortable parameters to achieve greater things.  But I also believe longing has possibly led some people down a ruinous path.

When I observe my cat chasing a toy which dangles from a string that I control, I believe I am observing my cat longing for the toy.  I try to perpetuate that feeling by keeping the toy out of the cat’s reach.  So long as I keep the toy out of my cat’s reach, the cat remains interested in the toy.  The cat is much more inclined to keep trying to get the toy than the cat would be if the cat were performing a more menial task, such as cleaning itself, which it can do at any given time.

When I finally allow my cat to seize the toy, it will celebrate by playing with the toy.  I notice that this does not last for very long, however.  Eventually the cat understands that it fully possesses the toy, and the fate of both the cat and the toy is absolute.  This is boring.  This is a termination in thoughtfulness regarding the toy.  The toy will remain as it is, within the cat’s claws, for as long as the cat wants it to.

I apply this observation to humans as well, and what I perceive is a cyclic motion; an existence which, once identified objectively, loses its romance.  To ever pin anything down, and blueprint it, and know how to break it down and assemble it, is to kill the romance involved with it.

Some people call it “the thrill of the hunt.”  I particularly love the thrill of the hunt.  I would much rather pursue affection and enjoy it only for a moment than I would to possess affection permanently but without pursuit.  To possess is to define, to know.  When I see a car on television that seems very nice, it is nearly magical to me.  I cannot fathom owning the car, driving it, or simply looking at it in my driveway.  Instead I attempt to fathom these things, which creates a barrage of romanticized conceptions.

If I go and purchase this car (and I have), I now begin to stab the romanticism of it.  I sit in the car, I drive the car, I read its specifications, I go underneath the hood, I park it in my driveway.  Any abstract conjuring is not necessary, and moreover, is not applicable!  I know this car, so I no longer need to yearn to know it by means of mental stimulation.

I possess the car, and thus can define it.  It is now just another rule, a constant, an absolute in my life.  I do not feel it so necessary to lavish the car with adjectives.  Over time, I will need to give the car adjectives less and less.  If I do give it more adjectives over time, they seem to be particularly negative.

So what is longing?  Longing is to romanticize, oftentimes incorrectly.  That which is a normal object can become ethereal.  And this can apply to people as well.

If I have affection and longing for a girl who I cannot very readily experience, then it stands to reason (per my subjective observations of my cat) that I will continue to long for this girl, until I can experience her.  It seems, also, that pending experience is not a matter of determining if I should like to continue wanting this girl, but more or less a timeline for how long it will take before I find her to be a constant, an absolute, non-ethereal.

Acquisition of that which we long for is a great feeling.  It is a feeling of accomplishment.  But it also introduces the terminal aspect of our voyage.  It will end soon.  So then, is it better to long for and acquire or to long for indefinitely?  I have been a much more motivated and impassioned person when in pursuit of things than I am upon acquiring them.

So then, if you answer that it is better to long perpetually, I must ask: why are we as humans predisposed to do this?  Why must we long for something and become unsatisfied upon having it long enough?

And if you answer that it is better to long and then acquire, I must ask: to what end?  Does it require manipulation of the mind to become content with something which is constant, absolute — boring?  Or does it require constant physical manipulation of that which you have acquired?  Car modifications, couples going on diets or trying kama sutra, computer overclocking, video games, and so on.

~ by dupu on December 15, 2008.