I Tried To Clutch The Cinders. I Regret Letting Go.
Even the perfect lifetime still encountered hardship. The full spectrum of emotion does not play favorites. Anger, sadness, joy, resentment, curiosity, calm – we will feel all of these, and then some. Happiness is what we seek! This message is abundant everywhere we look. We want gadgets to work well and last a long time because it makes us happy and it makes us feel validated to purchase something and have it work out well. This feeling of validation can lead to happiness. It can then be deduced that a reliable gadget equates to happiness. This is not contained to the acquistion of gadgets: we are to pursue happiness in this lifetime in every possible approach, and in any given moment we reserve the right to do that which will make us happy. The best part? You are instantly justified in pursuing your happiness, usually.
‘Negative’ emotions are like cinders aflutter, burning hot, that we choose not to touch. But living in a volcanic community, you will ultimately encounter and even touch the cinders. From an early age I learned that I should not touch the cinders, that I do not want to encounter the cinders, and that it would to my advantage to simply ignore the existence of that which brings pain; in this case, the cinders.
In disregarding the existence of pain and suffering, I have felt vaccuous and dormant. Even the most electrifying declaration shouted skyward — “I AM FEELING JOY!!” — would not remain with me for long. Once I felt contentment and happiness for a long enough time, I began to take it for granted. And once I realized the cutting edge had been taken off of my happy high, I slumped into a state of sadness. Resentment for my forfeiture to sadness soon followed, and before I knew it I was sabotaging myself. It all began with being happy all the time, or yearning for happiness all the time, without seeing the bigger picture.
We need pain and suffering. It is vital to experience the negative spectrum of emotions because they are what highlights and beautifies the positive emotions. They establish a palate upon which we can identify the contrast in flavors. I would not believe my girlfriend to be beautiful had I not beheld others before her whom I did not find beautiful. She would simply be a nondescript person, based on aesthetics alone.
Happiness is only a baseline if there is no pain or suffering. A baseline with no distinguishable deviation means that happiness would not have the same qualities it has in a world with pain and suffering due to contrast. A pale person is only pale due to the existence of tan people. A world filled with pale people would not be remarkable until a tan person came about.
So you see, happiness relies on pain and suffering in order to exist and likewise pain may only be so distinguishable due to the existence of happiness and wellness.
To drive this further down the path of cognition, it occurs to me that every emotion is beautiful in its own way. To imagine what genius and works of art have stemmed from each human emotion is a thrilling wonder. Ponder now the vast amount of beautiful lyrics ever written because of the loss of a loved one, or the amount of charitable programs ever set in place due to a daughter in incessant malaise due to disease, or a brilliant painting ever produced because of a vibrant sunny day. These are possible not because any one emotion is better than another, but because the persons who created these works and acts were able to thrive in that moment of emotion.
They took a fistful of static cinders and clutched them fiercely, burning engravements into their palms, truly understanding the emotion. Perhaps when I arrive at a true understanding in every moment of each emotion I am experiencing, I can be more honest with myself and with others and wring every amount of sensation out of each emotion, and perhaps one day you or I shall produce a compelling work because we were able to recognize the fortune of being in the throes of human emotion.
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